


Instant Boyfriend (Just Add Craigslist)

by thedeepestdaydream



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Based on a Craigslist ad, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Disabled Zuko, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Meet the Family, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Terrible-Craigslist-Boyfriend-For-Hire AU, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), but with a twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeepestdaydream/pseuds/thedeepestdaydream
Summary: After trying and failing to come out to his father and sister, Zuko heatedly agrees to introduce them to his boyfriend. There's only one problem: Zuko doesn't have a boyfriend.It's a good thing you can find anything on Craigslist.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 190





	1. The Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based off of [a Tumblr post I made](https://thedeepestdaydream.tumblr.com/post/624311433964961792/i-am-begging-on-my-knees-tears-in-my-eyes) because I couldn't get the idea out of my head. This will be silly and self-indulgent, you have been warned. Updates will also be sporadic because my life is a little crazy rn, but I couldn't resist writing this anyway. 
> 
> Many thanks to my beta [aurevell](https://aurevell.tumblr.com/), she's a peach!
> 
> Enjoy!

The silence at Zuko’s words was almost deafening. Both Azula and his father had raised their eyebrows in mirrored looks of cool incredulity. He knew he shouldn’t have accepted Azula’s invitation to dinner. He’d take cold pizza in front of Uncle’s crappy TV over a gourmet meal in this house any day.

“Come now, Zuzu,” Azula said dismissively, wiping at her mouth primly with a cloth napkin. “We both know that that joke wasn’t funny.”

“I assure you that I wasn’t joking,” Zuko said tersely, clutching his fork hard enough to hurt. “I’m gay.”

Azula smiled in that condescending way of hers, as if she were the older sibling of the two. “And how could that be? You’re still hung up on Mai, even after she dumped you.”

Zuko clenched his jaw. He desperately wanted to deny her claim, but that would involve explaining that their relationship had been a cover for them both. They had only broken up after Mai and Ty Lee had finally gotten together in secret. It wasn’t his place to out them to Azula.

Azula smiled, taking his silence as confirmation. “You see? There’s no need to make things up for attention.”

Zuko slammed his fork down on the table. “I’m not making it up!”

Azula frowned, the first show of anything other than wry amusement. “And what made you come to this conclusion?”

“I have a boyfriend,” Zuko said hotly, lying through his teeth.

Zuko tried to ignore how his father still hadn’t said a word.

“Well then,” Azula said, her smile sharp as a knife. “In that case, you won’t mind inviting him to dinner tomorrow night. Father and I would love to meet him.”

“He has his own life! You can't expect him to just drop everything—"

“Oh, but I do, brother,” Azula cut him off coldly. “I expect to be formally introduced. Besides, we both know this is a farce.”

“It isn’t a farce,” Zuko squared his jaw. “He’ll be here.”

* * *

Mai snorted. “You’re fucked, aren’t you?”

“That doesn’t help!” Zuko snapped into his phone. He currently sat on his bed in his uncle’s small apartment, his leg jiggling anxiously. His uncle was still downstairs, closing up the tea shop he owned and they both lived over.

“Why did you even come out to your dad and Azula anyway? They’re not exactly the understanding type.” Mai asked and Zuko sighed.

“It slipped out. They were bashing Lu Ten and his husband again, and I couldn’t just sit there quietly.”

Mai hummed. He waited for her to say something else, to reassure him, but all she said was, “So what are you gonna do now?”

Zuko ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I don’t _know._ Where am I supposed to find a boyfriend within the next few hours?”

“Craigslist?” Mai deadpanned.

“I’m serious!”

“So am I. Check the personals section, you’re bound to find someone.”

“I’m not going to _hire someone_ to be my boyfriend!”

He could practically hear Mai’s shrug over the phone. “Suit yourself.”

They hung up shortly after and Zuko flopped back onto his bed, still stewing.

It wasn’t like he cared about what his father or Azula thought of him. They had made it abundantly clear that they didn’t think very highly of him, and he was past the point of trying to prove himself to them. No, this was fuelled purely out of spite. He was done tamping down on who he was for their sake. He wanted them to see the real him, no matter their opinion.

All he needed now was a boyfriend. He wracked his brain for possible candidates. It was a very short list. Zuko didn’t have many friends, male or otherwise.

There was Haru, the guy that worked downstairs in the tea shop, but Zuko was pretty sure he had a girlfriend. Plus, he’d been growing out this truly unfortunate mustache. When it came to finding a boyfriend, imaginary or not, Zuko still had standards.

There was always Jet, but he dismissed that thought immediately. Sure, he and Zuko had fooled around in the past, but Jet was too unstable. He couldn’t trust that Jet wouldn’t rant at his father, a lawyer with his own law firm, about the evils of Capitalism.

And that was the end of his list. He was so fucked. He threw an arm over his eyes with a groan.

An arm that, coincidentally, was still holding his phone. He sat up and stared at, deliberating.

Was he really desperate enough to hire a random guy to meet his father?

* * *

After getting to the sixth page of the personals section on Craigslist, Zuko was starting to lose hope. All of the personal ads were for quick hookups or for people looking for… _specific services._ (He opened one of those and _really_ wished he hadn’t.)

He was just about ready to give up when a headline caught his eye.

_Desperately single? Mad at your dad? Read on… - m4m_

Curious despite himself, Zuko tapped on the link.

_Have a family gathering to go to but no boyfriend to take in order to make your conservative relatives wildly uncomfortable? Parents inviting you to dinner just to make snide comments about your lack of a love life? Well, look no further!_

_I’m a 23 year old college dropout who has piercings, tattoos, and a dirty van older than I am painted with a huge mural of arctic wolves. I can play between the ages of 20 and 26 depending on if I shave. I’m a line cook and work late nights in a bar. If you’d like to have me as a strictly platonic date for your family gathering, family dinner, etc. while pretending to be in a very long or serious relationship to torment your family, then I’m game._

_I can do these things, at your request:_

_-Openly hit on other guests while you pretend like you don’t notice._

_-Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion._

_-Propose to you in front of everyone._

_-Pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (I work in a bar and am constantly surrounded by loud, belligerent drunks. I know the drill)._

_-Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for the neighbors to see._

_I require no pay but the free meal I will receive as a guest!_

Zuko stared at the listing, hardly daring to believe it. He didn’t know what he’d been looking for, exactly, but he hadn’t expected to find something this perfect. It would give him the opportunity to save face in front of his family while making them as uncomfortable as possible in the process.

His finger hovered over the “Reply” link. Did he really want to torment his father and sister like this?

Zuko tapped on the link.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	2. Oh No, He's Hot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I know it's only been two days since I posted, but have another chapter anyway because I have no self control.

Zuko sat in the nearly empty coffee shop, checking his phone for the fourth time in as many minutes. He was early, but he couldn’t help but glance around anyway. 

He had messaged the guy on Craigslist, half expecting not to get a response, and nearly dropped his phone when the guy responded almost immediately. They had agreed to meet at this coffee shop first to go over the game plan for tonight. The guy had said that he’d be wearing blue, so now Zuko couldn’t help but look up at every flash of blue he saw. He himself fidgeted with the sleeve of his red cardigan. 

He took a sip of his tea and grimaced. He didn’t like this place. It was too corporate and their tea was nothing more than hot leaf juice, but he didn’t want a stranger to know where he worked/lived in case he was a weirdo. 

He checked his phone again. _It’s still early, Zuko. Relax._

He couldn’t help but be restless. If the guy didn’t show, then Zuko would have to face his family’s derision alone. He sighed. That wouldn’t be anything new, at least.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his left shoulder. Zuko snapped his head up and his mouth promptly went dry.

The man standing in front of him was gorgeous.

Zuko’s wide eyes took in the blue tank top that revealed tanned skin and toned arms covered in tribal tattoos. Piercings ran up and down the guy’s ears and his dark hair was in a wolftail, the sides cropped short. Stubble covered a defined jawline and accentuated sharp cheekbones. Eyes that were the most captivating shade of blue stared at Zuko, wide in surprise.

“Woah, sorry about that,” the guy said, rubbing the back of his neck with an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to spook you. You must not have heard me the first time. You’re Zuko, right?”

Zuko flushed in embarrassment. The guy had clearly been trying to get his attention, and since he was as good as deaf and blind on his left side, Zuko hadn’t noticed. They’d just met and Zuko was already making a fool of himself. 

Realizing that he still hadn’t responded to the guy’s earlier question, he nodded. The guy didn’t seem too bothered. He just flashed Zuko a smile and slid into the seat across from him. Zuko didn’t miss how the guy’s eyes lingered on the left side of his face. He was used to it by now. He knew his scar was off-putting; he just hoped the guy wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

To Zuko’s immense relief, the guy didn’t comment on it at all, instead looking him in the eye with an easy grin. “I’m Sokka. Nice to meet you, man.” 

He extended a big hand out for Zuko to shake and Zuko took it. He couldn’t help but notice that Sokka’s hands were warm and his grip was firm. He did his best to calm the erratic beating of his heart.

Sokka threw an arm around the headrest of his chair and leaned back casually. “So, what are we talking about here? Family reunion? Dinner with overbearing parents?”

Zuko blinked. It seemed like they were going to get straight to business, not that Zuko minded. He shuddered to think what embarrassing thing would come out of his mouth if he’d had to partake in small-talk with someone as attractive as Sokka.

Zuko fidgeted with the cardboard sleeve around his cup of tea, answering Sokka’s question. “We’ll be having dinner with my father and sister. I came out to them recently and they, uh, didn’t take it well.”

Sokka frowned. “By ‘didn’t take it well’ you mean…”

Zuko scowled down at his tea. “They didn’t believe me. They think I’m making it up for attention.” 

“And you thought you’d get back at them by rubbing your obnoxious boyfriend in their face.”

Zuko looked away, abashment filling his gut. When said like that, the whole thing sounded particularly childish. He should’ve just faced his father and sister like an adult. Instead, he had decided to run away like he always did, dragging Sokka into this pointless charade in the process. 

Sokka straightened in his chair, which pulled Zuko out of his rapidly spiraling thoughts and made him look up. “Not to worry, Sokka’s on the case! I’ll be the most obnoxious boyfriend in existence! Your family won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Zuko stared at the guy in front of him with wide eyes. Sokka was serious about this. 

“I… thank you,” Zuko said quietly, meaning it. 

“No problem, man. ‘S what I’m here for. Now, what kind of obnoxious are we talking here? Are you looking for mild discomfort or a full-on drunken brawl on the front lawn?”

“N-no, discomfort would be more than enough.”

“Alright, any particular way you wanna do that?”

Zuko shrugged uncomfortably. “Just you showing up claiming to be my boyfriend should get to them, I think.”

Sokka flashed him a grin. “Act like we’re madly in love, got it.”

Zuko looked away, trying his hardest to suppress a blush. He didn’t know how he was going to survive someone pretending to like him that much, much less someone as attractive as Sokka doing it. Not many people looked twice at him, which wasn’t surprising. He knew what he looked like. 

Sokka rested his forearms on the table and leaned forward, openly curious. “So, tell me about yourself. If we’re gonna pretend to be crazy about each other, I feel like I should know more than just your name.”

Zuko couldn’t help how his pulse quickened at having those bright blue eyes focused on him so intently. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, well, I’m 24. I live in an apartment I share with my uncle over the tea shop he owns.”

Sokka rested his chin in his hand, still smiling. “What’s your idea of a good time, Zuko?”

Zuko’s heart tripped over itself before beating double-time in his chest. “What?” 

“You know,” Sokka said while gesturing vaguely with his free hand. “What do you like to do for fun?”

Zuko knew his pale skin was doing nothing to hide the splotchy blush he could feel heating his face. 

_Fun. Right. Mind out of the gutter, Zuko._

“Not much,” he said, hating how he made it sound like a question. “I mostly read when I’m not training. I’m not that interesting.” 

“What kind of training do you do?”

“I do martial arts.”

Sokka leaned forward eagerly, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Woah, for real? What kind?”

Zuko shrugged awkwardly. “Northern Shaolin kung-fu. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.” 

After the fire, he had become horribly unbalanced due to the damage to his left ear, and his doctor had recommended he take up a martial art to help with that. He’d been surprised at how much he loved it and had done it ever since. 

“That’s seriously awesome! My sister does tai chi, but that’s not nearly as cool as actual _kung-fu._ You any good?”

“I don’t do it competitively. It’s a hobby, mostly.” He was a black belt, sure, but that was only due to his uncle’s generosity. If he hadn’t volunteered to train Zuko, he never would've passed his black belt examination. He would never be as good as other black belts thanks to his left eye and ear. 

Other black belts like his sister. She’d taken up kung-fu shortly after he had and had taken to it like a fish to water, rapidly outclassing him. Their few sparring matches had been embarrassing, Azula easily exploiting his weak side again and again. 

“Still, that’s pretty impressive. I tried taking it up as a kid myself but would always get in trouble. See, what _I_ called ‘unorthodox strategies,’ my sensei called ‘fighting dirty.’” 

That startled a small laugh out of Zuko. He himself had gotten an earful from his sensei on more than one occasion for getting creative with his footwork. It was nice to know that he and Sokka had that in common. 

Sokka stared, an odd look crossing his face, before he cleared his throat and sat back. 

“So, uh, what do you do for a living?” Sokka asked, changing the subject abruptly.

The smile slid off of Zuko’s face. He’d hoped to avoid this particular conversation. 

Zuko looked down at his folded hands. “I’m a playwright. I… write plays.”

“Why do you sound so dejected about it?”

“Because,” Zuko said, frowning down at his hands, “everyone I tell seems to have an _opinion_ on it. It’s always _‘How do you plan to make any money doing that?’_ and _‘Why didn’t you go to school for something_ useful?’” That last one had mostly been his father and sister. His father had been livid when he’d discovered that Zuko had changed his major from PoliSci to English halfway through his Freshman year of college. 

“Do you like what you do?” Sokka asked.

His mother had been a huge fan of the theater. His fondest childhood memories were the ones of his mother taking Azula and him to plays of starcrossed lovers or of gallant heroes fighting great evil. Azula would quickly grow bored and get up to mischief when their mother wasn’t looking. Zuko, however, would stay on his mother’s lap, completely entranced by the story unfolding in front of him. 

_“Watch closely, my love,”_ she would whisper in his ear, hugging him close. _“Seeing words brought to life is a special kind of magic.”_

Zuko ducked his head. “I… yeah. I love what I do.” 

“Then fuck everyone else’s opinion,” Sokka said simply, like that settled the matter. 

He gave Sokka a tentative smile and his heart somersaulted at the sight of Sokka beaming right back.

He was so, so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?


End file.
